The last song a swan sings is its dying song. Somehow, swans know when their life is over, so they go into a corner and sing. Maybe they sing to leave a trace forever, or maybe their idea of combining notes comes from the realization that what they had will soon be gone. The last song a swan sings is its dying song, and to whoever is there to hear it, it’ll always remain a piece of closure structured by music notes.

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“Do you remember the stars in the sky the night we slept together?”

“No, but I remember the song playing when you said you were leaving forever.”

The Butterfly Tragedy

There was a girl who loved butterflies

And watched their wings as they flew away

She promised herself she’d grow wings

And follow them into the clouds someday.

She envied how they were so free

While she had to keep her wounds hidden

How they lived a life so short

While she relapsed on what she thought she’d ridden.

There was a girl who loved butterflies

And watched their wings as they flew away

She grew up and grew out her wings

And dropped from the clouds that day.

And rumour has it that when she slit her wrists

A single butterfly escaped her grasp

Its wings bloody, it flew up so far

To join the others behind the thin glass.

There was once a girl who loved butterflies

But held their wings ‘fore they flew away

Her reason for trapping butterflies?

“They’ll be freed when I’m gone someday.”

And they found the cocoons  in her veins

And wings made of broken lies

The little girl never got her dream

So she kept it from the butterflies.

Why is it that we know how things are going to end

But we try them out anyway?

Why is it that I know

You have the same eyes he did,

The same lust…

Why is it that I crave you 

Even though I know how we’ll end?

I suppose that I can wait

Just a bit more,

Leave it to fate. 

 

My past shouts at me

“Don’t do this!” 

But it’s too late.

 

 

I’m already head over heels

In love with you.

Stuck in reverse

Watching the past

Everything behind me

Is asking me to let you go.

But my mind has forgotten

How fresh water tastes

I’m settling for the drops

That come through snow. 

I’m thirsty no more

Can’t recall how thirst felt

But I know I shouldn’t drink from you

And I know I’ll regret it so.

But tell me, darling,

Do you say these things

To every girl you meet,

To every street walking ho? 

Tell me, my love,

Did your fingers

Rest themselves elsewhere

Before they rest down below? 

I want this mirage to be real

But I don’t know how to feel.

Tell me, dear lad,

Why am I falling for you

So slow?

The skies are darkened

But I’m all fine

Just wishing for things

That were never mine.

The thunder’s coming

It’s all the same

Just waiting for you

Though you never came.

Maybe there’s something

I wasn’t supposed to say

But darling, I surely

Begged you to stay.

And you left me in dark

You left me all wrong

And I’m stuck and I’m stuck

In what’s been gone long. 

In this afterlife of a heart

That was never even made

You are my everlost

And my hell all the same.

 

Remember when you asked

If I’d do it with you?

And I said I would

If we were on the rooftop

On a really tall building.

You asked me how

At thirteen

I could decide that,

And I said

Because you love inflicting pain

And I love inflicting pain on myself.

You said I’m a hopeless romantic

And I said that I am

You said that you’d love me anyway.

Tell me, darling,
Where did you go?

So you think that you can function fully without me. I say that I never doubted that for a second, my darling. I’m perfectly fine on my own, and you the same. You can touch the skies as far as the horizon goes and beyond, using your mind to explore what mankind has not yet touched. I’m just a broken vase of spilled flowers and dead roses, controlled by time and hooked on memories. I thrive on the past. I am relentless, so don’t you dare tell me that I am the solid mask behind these breaking souls. I, my dear, am nothing worth fretting about. Go on, darling. Go on. Paint your life and make it look like a spitting image of a supernova, for, hell, you can definitely fully function without me. 

And she held me while I cried in her arms. 

She spoke of the times when she used to shed tears in the balcony

When my father was fast asleep

Because she wasn’t happy with her life.

And so she told me to make the right choice

Because it just only mattered that I was happy.

But I have to be perfect;

I have to be good enough.

She told me that that’s what she thought

And she asked me to look where she is right now. 

“Where do you see yourself in twenty years?”

She said that by the same genetics

I was highly unlikely to have enough willpower

To spend it on hours of studying.

“Do something you love.

Where do you see yourself in twenty years?”

And maybe the problem is

Not where I see myself in twenty years

It’s the fact that I don’t.

Let my words fleet

And lay in your mind

Hail Mary, forgive me,

The shame is all mine.

Let the rosary 

Fall from my hands

Hail Mary, forgive me,

If to hell fire it lands.

Let my mind and soul

Steer clear of doom

Hail Mary, forgive me,

I’ll rot in my tomb. 

And when the chair beneath me

Reaches deep for my breath

Hail Mary, forgive me,

In this hour of death.